Ran Prieur

"The bigger you build the bonfire, the more darkness is revealed."

- Terence McKenna

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June 1. I'm getting burned out on the internet, and I wonder if this is part of a trend. I mean, the internet is still miraculously useful to support offline activities. Which product should I buy? What's wrong with my car? How do I make this food? Will I like this album? You go on, you get the answer, you get off. (Heh heh, porn.) But as a channel for action, or as an end in itself, the internet is unsatisfying. I don't think an online petition has ever accomplished anything. You have basically zero chance of changing someone's mind in an argument. The communities are shallow because the connections are thin.

The main thing people are doing is seeking the self outside the self. "Does anyone else have this opinion, or this private habit? Wow, lots of people do, and now I feel validated, and strangely empty." I wonder if it makes you stronger to not know whether other people are like you, because it certainly makes you stronger to not care.

I'm not giving up this blog. It's useful for connecting with people who I might meet in person, and there will always be stuff I enjoy chattering about. But I expect my posts to be mostly about surprising ideas and personal stuff, and not about confirming stuff I already believe.

Surprising idea of the day: I only halfway understand this hyperintellectual reddit comment by Erinaceous on ecology. He's saying that humans like to idealize a unified whole, and we project that ideal on nature, but really nature is "a disequilibrium system that requires disturbance and flux at every level to maintain far from equilibrium states." Sounds like Taoism.

May 29. For the weekend, some personal updates. Earlier this year I had some serious fatigue, and one of the changes I made was to cut my sugar consumption. Now every time I eat something sweeter than a carrot, even whole fruit, I eat some Ezekiel cereal along with it because fiber enables healthy digestion of sugar. After a few weeks of this, I've noticed that I barely even like sweet foods. Also, maybe coincidentally, I no longer crave bread at all. On a normal day my breakfast is boiled sprouted wheat with whole milk kefir and prunes, my lunch is red meat and cheese, and my supper is whatever. For a while I was eating meat twice a day, but it gave me body odor that I didn't like, so now I'm eating more beans, mostly refried beans made in large batches with sprouted pintos.

Since selling my truck I miss it sentimentally, but not practically. I still ride my bike a few times a week but mostly I ride my scooter, a Buddy 150. It's great to have fast acceleration and still burn hardly any gas.

Yesterday the first strawberry ripened in the back yard. The apricot and peach and apple have all set less fruit than they did last year, maybe because this year we had late frosts. Peaches are iffy in Spokane and the peach tree is struggling while the apricot is thriving. Also I'm going to get my first crop from the Evans/Bali tart cherry.

I've cut my marijuana use to one night every two weeks. I was thinking I might get away with two consecutive nights every two weeks, but last weekend when I tried that, on the second night my body felt sluggish and crummy and the head high was mediocre. I'm just not built to be a full-time stoner. Even once every two weeks it takes me a few days to feel normal again, but it's worth it.

Alcohol for me is the opposite of marijuana (and the opposite of alcohol for most people): I don't like being drunk but I love the taste. On most nights I'll drink half of a craft beer, and I have a new favorite, Ninkasi Dawn of the Red, joining my existing favorites Deschutes Red Chair and New Belgium Trippel.

May 27. Adam sends this interesting article, The Caveman's Home Was Not a Cave -- because they only lived in caves in winter, and the rest of the year they lived outdoors and moved around a lot.

Also on the subject of human habitat, here's a good critique of Colonizing Mars. I think robot space probes are cool, but the idea of putting humans on other planets is pure romanticism by people who think they're rational, which makes it funny. If you're going to base your vision of the future on genre fiction, it's more realistic to aim for bioengineered dragons and elves. At the same time, I think the dream of living on Mars, where there is no ecology, will lead to inventions that reduce our ecological footprint on Earth.

May 25. I'm still working through Matthew Crawford's book The World Beyond Your Head. Here's an excerpt, The Case for Dangerous Roads and Low-Tech Cars. The idea is that we drive more safely if roads and cars are engineered to fully engage our attention. Crawford's broader idea is that technology is being used to insulate us from the challenges of the physical world, and this not only makes us incompetent -- it makes us depressed, because part of being human is extending our consciousness into physical and social landscapes that set constraints and make demands.

Another way to frame it: the trend in technology is to make practical things boring and idiot proof, so they don't attract our attention but in the absence of attention they still work. Consider the education system, or computer operating systems. Meanwhile, computer games and other forms of entertainment are being skillfully engineered to demand our attention. You can escape the trap by learning to ride a motorcycle, speak a new language, play an instrument, play a sport, make furniture, anything that puts your mind and body out in the world unmediated.

What I don't like about Crawford's book is it has a town hall vibe, pointing out evil and recommending public policy. There's no way congress will pass a law limiting the addictiveness of slot machines or requiring cars to be less squishy. We're facing an unstoppable force like a fire or a plague, and the value of the book is in helping us understand it well enough to survive it. I see this as a psychological version of the popular myth of the apocalypse. Instead of physically dying, most people are going to fade away into technologically assisted adult infancy, while communities based on challenging skills and deep relationships survive and eventually fill in the dead spaces.

Related: I found that car article among lots of other good stuff on No Tech Magazine.

May 22. Loose end from Wednesday: on the subreddit, in Drone Combat and the End of Satellites, polyparadigm argues that even satellites are slow enough to give a disadvantage to human controllers, and the future of drone combat is local control. I wonder if it will eventually be like video games are now: humans give general commands like destroy or engage or defend or pursue, and the AI takes care of the moment-to-moment details. But there's probably some big factor in drone warfare that nobody can even guess in 2015.

For the weekend, something inspiring, I secretly lived in my office for 500 days.

And from the books subreddit a week ago, a thread asking What's the most beautiful paragraph or sentence you've ever read?. The most beautiful paragraph I've ever read is this one from Little, Big by John Crowley:

While the moon smoothly shifted the shadows from one side of Edgewood to the other, Daily Alice dreamed that she stood in a flower-starred field where on a hill there grew an oak tree and a thorn in deep embrace, their branches intertwined like fingers. Far down the hall, Sophie dreamed that there was a tiny door in her elbow, open a crack, through which the wind blew, blowing on her heart. Dr. Drinkwater dreamed he sat before his typewriter and wrote this: 'There is an aged, aged insect who lives in a hole in the ground. One June he puts on his summer straw, and takes his pipe and his staff and his lamp in half his hands, and follows the worm and the root to the stair that leads up to the door into blue summer.' This seemed immensely significant to him, but when he awoke he wouldn't be able to remember a word of it, try as he might. Mother beside him dreamed her husband wasn't in his study at all, but with her in the kitchen, where she drew tin cookie-sheets endlessly out of the oven; the baked things on them were brown and round, and when he asked her what they were, she said 'Years'.

May 20. A reader sends a fascinating doom scenario. It starts with the idea that drones are the future of warfare. The plot thickens with the observation that military drones normally require satellites. And the speculation is that experimental high-altitude aircraft like waveriders, which are also being developed by China, are intended to shoot down satellites to neutralize the enemy's drones in a war. Enough blown up satellites and we've got Kessler syndrome, a feedback loop where high-velocity space debris hits satellites and makes more space debris, and "the resulting debris cascade could render low Earth orbit essentially impassable."

This is the same kind of mutually assured destruction that has so far prevented global nuclear war. The difference is, if you push the button to start a nuclear war you're killing billions of people and destroying your own nation. A satellite war is merely a big inconvenience, and you might be preserving your own nation. If someone has the ability to blow up all the satellites, and it feels more like saving the world than ending the world, they're going to do it.

The next strategic move is not hard to figure out. How do you win a war after the satellites are gone? Or how do you get in a position where the satellite war hurts your enemies more than you? By having the best drone force that does not depend on satellites. I'm talking beyond my knowledge here, but I'm thinking that drones use satellites for communication with operators and GPS navigation. You could navigate by triangulating from fixed beacons on the ground, and you could communicate globally through massive drone-to-drone networks, but not fast enough for remote operators to make combat decisions. So the likely goal is drones that are smart enough to make combat decisions on their own.

May 18. So I've started reading a book I mentioned a month ago, The World Beyond Your Head by Matthew Crawford. Here's a repost of the article. In the book, he starts with the obvious complaint that the world is increasingly saturated with advertisements and other demands on our attention, and then he puts this in an interesting philosophical context. According to Enlightenment metaphysics, your "self" is inside your head, and you make an abstract mental model of the world outside your head and make rational decisions about how to navigate it.

Crawford argues that it's better to think of the self as extending beyond your body into your immediate physical environment. His first example is how short-order cooks lay out the ingredients of the meals they're making in a way that allows them to do the simple motions of cooking without having to think, which frees their limited brainpower to add skill to their work on other levels.

So all these demands on our attention are not neutral opportunities for making choices -- they are more like assaults or invasions, and the more intelligence we have to use filtering our senses to sort out what's useful, the less intelligence we have for complex thought and creativity. Crawford notices that younger people are better than older people at navigating the information shitstorm, and he fears that they have gained this skill by numbing their extended self.

May 15, late. Just changed the default font on this page from Trebuchet to Verdana because I got a new computer. My old Dell Latitude D610 was having intermittent keyboard problems, and I know it was hardware because it also happened in Linux. Used computers have really come down in price -- I got a refurbished scratched Latitude E6400, roughly twice as powerful as the D610, on eBay for only $108. But when I loaded this page the small letter w's looked half invisible, maybe because Windows 7 renders fonts differently than XP. I still think Trebuchet is the prettiest sans serif font, but switching to Verdana fixed the w's.

May 15. Oops, got the dates wrong on the two posts below, just fixed them. I was running a day late this week because Tuesday's post was really hard. For the weekend I'm ready to unveil a personal project, moving my favorite band from my songs page to their own Big Blood page where I can go into much more detail.

And a silly Twitter post: I will fight to support the Oxford comma until I draw my last breath.

May 14. Today, three links about psychology and society. First, another long smart essay by Sarah Perry, Weaponized Sacredness. Basically it's about the hidden power of social rules about what you can and can't say, and how we fight over those rules. There's an observation at the beginning that revolutions happen when people with a forbidden belief reach a critical mass, and then suddenly they start openly believing it, and coordinating actions. I think we are now mostly immunized against this kind of surprise through internet anonymity, which allows people to violate sacredness without consequences. Just do a search on AskReddit for unpopular opinion. If the spy agencies are smart, they will encourage internet anonymity so they can keep track of what people really think.

These Suburban Preppers Are Ready for Anything. Bashing these folks is too easy to be interesting, but I love this line: "preppers emphasize certain threats and ignore others to 'craft a scenario where their preparations can be seen as both necessary and sufficient.'" This is something that everyone does, from doomers to optimists: we believe in a future that makes whatever we're doing feel meaningful.

And a subreddit post with a cynical view of EVE Online and human nature. I would say that the violence and authoritarianism in EVE isn't absolute human nature, but part of the human potential that emerges under a certain set of rules. This is an argument against an idea I mentioned the other day, that we should make political decisions to make society more like a good game.

May 12. I left off last Friday with this quote from Sarah Perry: "For many people, time is not a gift, but a burden, to be filled with alcohol and television and other palliative technologies." My disagreement is not with that sentence exactly, but with two ideas that might seem to follow.

One is that it's bad to have fun, or that all this fun stuff is distracting us from rising up and making a good society -- as if we all agree about what a good society looks like and how to get there. This whole way of thinking is based on an assumption about the purpose of life: that merely having a good time is a bad use of your life, and the correct use of your life is trying to make a better world.

Humans have been trying to make a better world for thousands of years. In many ways we have failed and accidentally made a worse world, so we should be skeptical of making a better world as a noble goal. And to the extent that we have succeeded, we should appreciate and enjoy the ways the world is better, instead of being like an ambitious person who is never happy in the moment. Sometimes the path to a better world is doing something that seems fun and useless, and it leads to somewhere unexpected.

Notice that people who condemn TV and video games and recreational drugs never condemn books. Of course books are better in some ways, but the thing that's best about reading can be good about any entertainment: it can expand your consciousness and show you other ways of being. I think even spectator sports are helpful because they generate public stories that are more honest than the public stories in politics, so someone who follows sports can more easily recognize political bullshit.

A reader sends this article from the Guardian about Eve Online, a massive multiplayer sci-fi game that has outlived similar games by making good decisions to keep players interested. People play games because they're better than society: they're a better fit for human nature. When we understand this, there are at least two directions we can go: make political decisions to make society more like a good game, or make society as stable and harmless as possible, and use it as a platform for artificial worlds.

There's another way to look at the meaninglessness of modern society, and this brings me to the other idea I disagree with: that it's bad to have too much free time, and we need a society in which our time is automatically filled with meaningful activities.

I mean, I wouldn't hate that, but I think it would deprive us of the challenge of finding meaning through personal struggle and transformation. People take wilderness survival classes because they want to learn to find food and shelter through their own skill. If everyone needs a big economic system to give them food and shelter, that system has too much power. So here's my personal vision of how to make a better world: imagine if nobody needed religion or political ideology or economic growth or technological progress or personal status climbing to make their life feel worth living, if none of those things had power over us, because we would all know how to create our own meaning or find it in whatever little things are around us. And a life with lots of free time and no ready-made meaning is a great opportunity to learn that skill.

May 8. New Sarah Perry essay, How Beauty Fits. It's basically a definition of aesthetics based on fit, "the property by which the form and its context are in harmony." The whole thing is worth reading and loaded with good ideas. Here's a paragraph with some thoughts about technology:

Earlier I mentioned time as an important aspect of the human context. Technologies such as washing machines, automobiles, and factories give us more time that we need not spend cleaning, walking, raising food, or making clothes and objects. This gift of time is only a benefit to us if we use it for activities that are more fitting to us, not just as individuals, but also as social creatures. For many people, time is not a gift, but a burden, to be filled with alcohol and television and other palliative technologies.

That's not how I view free time, or technologically-assisted fun, but clearly some people do, and I might have more to say on this next week.

May 6. Thinking more about Monday's subject: Buddhists make a useful distinction between pain and suffering. Pain is when you stub your toe, and suffering is when it bothers you that you stubbed your toe. Pain is inevitable and suffering is optional. And if you practice being in the moment and giving up the desire for things to be different, you can learn the skill of feeling more and more pain without feeling any suffering. If I'm wrong about there being a metaphysical agenda of human learning, then it's possible for pain without suffering to be hardwired into us, or at least programmed into us on the level of culture, so we can do it without even trying.

I don't believe that there can be no pleasure without pain. I think that's a function of personality. Consider the personalities of different dog breeds, mopey insecure Boxers versus ecstatic Pomeranians. Or look at happy animal species like swallows or chipmunks. There must be individual animals who have never felt any pain and are still happier than most humans. Maybe we're just unlucky to have happiness-challenged genetics and culture, and suffering has no meaning or purpose -- it's just a big mistake that we can fix.

There's also a good post on this topic on the subreddit, The Hedonic Anthropic Principle, in which polyparadigm makes the fascinating argument that consciousness can only arise where happiness is challenging -- because otherwise the decisions are so easy that consciousness is not necessary. I happen to think consciousness is universal, but I still accept this idea under a special definition of consciousness: the power to choose whether or not to be in the moment.

May 4. Friday's post got me thinking about the meaning of life. I was writing about three different things -- sweet foods, video games, and marijuana -- that make you feel good, but if you do them too much, you feel bad. Why does reality work this way?

Why isn't there anything that feels good, and continues to feel good the more you do it? And why doesn't it work the other way around? If I slap myself in the face it feels bad, but if I were to do it all the time, it would keep feeling bad, rather than turning around and starting to feel good. Why is feeling good so challenging and feeling bad so easy? And why, as we get better at life, do the challenges seem to increase?

You might try to answer these questions in terms of evolution, or biology, or even the laws of physics. But that raises the question: why is the physical world this way and not some other way? You could call this the Hedonic Anthropic Principle. If this is a mindless universe of particles and waves in which consciousness appeared by accident, how unlucky are we that pleasant consciousness is so elusive?

I want to believe that life is intrinsically meaningless, because that means it should be possible to game the system, to find an easy trick to feel perfect bliss. If I could listen to my favorite music on a big dose of THC, and somehow keep that feeling forever, of course I would do it, and I hope in a hundred years someone will try to transfer human consciousness to some other substrate where something like that is possible. But I expect them to fail.

To be clear, I'm a generally happy person. But given that I'm a healthy first-worlder with lots of free time, it's strange that happiness still isn't easy, that it has to be maintained by constant awareness and adjustments, like surfing a wave. The more experience I have, the more I think that life does have a meaning: that our minds and our stories are serving some invisible deeper mind (or mindless algorithm) which does not simply want us to feel good, but uses good and bad feelings, like scientists using treats and electroshocks on rats, to lead us toward some unimaginable goal.

May 1. Personal update. Two months ago I mentioned that I was getting serious fatigue, possibly from twice weekly cannabis use. I looked around the internet and found this article, Does Smoking Cannabis Affect Sleep?

Disturbances in sleep patterns can remain for up to five days after use and normal sleep patterns may not return until after one week... Recently abstinent MJ users showed differences in multiple sleep measures compared to a drug-free control group: lower total sleep times, and less slow wave sleep. They also showed worse sleep efficiency, longer sleep onset and shorter REM latency than the control group.

And here's a forum thread with many reports of fatigue during withdrawal: Can quitting weed make you more tired then you felt before hand?

My suspicion was, by using it more than once a week but not all the time, I was in a state of permanent withdrawal. But those reports are from heavy users, and I was only using about a gram a month. So I made three lifestyle changes. First I cut back on sugar: I stopped putting honey on my toast and maple syrup in my morning wheat berries, and following anti-sugar guru Robert Lustig, whenever I eat something sweet, including fruit, I now eat a handful of fiber in the form of Ezekiel cereal. Second, I cut back my video games to one expert Minesweeper win per day, which takes 5-20 minutes depending on luck, and is probably not enough to mess with my reward system. I should also quit browsing AskReddit. Third, I reduced the cannabis to every two weeks, and now I'm ramping it back up to see what I can get away with. Once a week seems to be working.

I also made a batch of cannabutter using this recipe with clarified butter, an infrared thermometer, and no straining because I don't mind chewing toasted buds. I've been alternating between eating and vaping, and don't notice any clear difference. I also couldn't sense a clear difference between the supposedly energizing Sativa strain Cinderella 99, and the supposedly sedating Indica strain Northern Lights. I know that some strains are more potent, but until I see a scientific study to the contrary, I believe that reported differences between the quality of high in different strains is almost all placebo effect.

I don't do an RSS feed, but Patrick has written a script that creates a feed based on the way I format my entries. It's at http://ranprieur.com/feed.php. You might also try Page2RSS.

Posts will stay on this page about a month, and then mostly drop off the edge. A reader has set up an independent archive that saves the page every day or so, and I save my own favorite bits in these archives:

January - May 2005
June - August 2005
September - October 2005
November - December 2005
January - February 2006
March - April 2006
May - July 2006
August - September 2006
October - November 2006
December 2006 - January 2007
February - March 2007
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September 2008
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